beautiful frustration

and then...really?

how could two bodies, in all the vastness of dark space

ever manage to come so close to breathless perfection?

perfection in balance

ever evolving, their gyrations appear chaotic

oscillation becomes less apparent, self-centering chemistry

but I digress...

this is like staring at the sun

you dare not gaze directly, surely to be overwhelmed

the trick is to get a sense of this celestial body...and look away

my mind wanders...

I have become trapped in this beauty's orbit

compelled by a tidal force, quivering uncontrollably...wonderfully...

like a perfectly tuned fork or a finger lightly skimming a thin crystal flute

imagination running wild...

completely absorbed by the gravitational pull, I give in...

now we touch...we touch...shyly, as children

speed and friction build, blinding light, a stars birthright

soon we are locked in an inescapable closeness

lit from within, producing almost (almost) unbearable heat

perpetual energy, the perfect machine...

throw it all away *

debilitated by the ghosts that haunt us

crippled by the judgement of others

guilt weighing us down, sapping our strength

the things we have held dear seem ethereal now

a trick of light, smoke, and mirrors... non-existent

it's unfair that we've wasted so much time...

trying to live on the validation of others

we've lost ourselves and what's (really) important

refusing to expose a vulnerable heart

we lie to ourselves to justify the pain

sold a story riddled with ulterior motives and deceit

ashamed that we didn't see it coming

help me destroy the fear, the shame and self-doubt

help me to carry the things I can't bear alone, I need you

don't we finally deserve to live? haven't we earned a parole?

a heart unafraid, that gladly offers shelter from the storm

the feeling of a true friend, the warm embrace of acceptance

the look you see in the eyes of innocent, honest love

so powerful...so beautiful

I want to...

feel weak from desire, not punishment

taste passion that knows no boundaries

feel beauty that stops/starts my heart

know honesty without fear, without judgement

don't be afraid, you know you want it

I had a dream that we were lovers...

* Title inspired by Toad the Wet Sprocket

hard to hold

we've always believed there was time

time to find the one who understands

understands our fragility, feels our pain

pain that has dulled our senses (so numb)

senses that were formerly sharp, intensity ruled

ruled our heart, stealing our breath

breath that we once offered without hesitation

hesitation has become tyranny, ever devouring

devouring our hope, robbing us blind

blind fear now the order of the day (day after day)

now time slips away

leaving us gasping

raping our spirit

pillaging our need

leaving a void

forsaken, forgotten, forlorn

I care, but you were always so hard to hold

stop running, slow your pace, feel me while you still can

catch your breath...slow and deep

take my hand, my motives are pure

to do harm would kill me

left alone without you

...again

fuck that

true to life

I ask a lot
I know
I want a lot
...who doesn't?
I need a lot
I always will

(ask me, I'll tell you

don't be afraid, I want you

come with me, I need you)

what I ask

can't be answered
what I want

can't be given
what I need

can't be satisfied

I don't want some

I want it all

I won't settle for later

I want now

I need this, please

I can't hold back

I give/take
I live to fill/feel the need
what greater good
than to return the favor?

I always will

madness

in a virtual world

life and love exist in stasis

time stands still

you and I are a mystery

far away and funny, you make me laugh

I am new and you play along

hoping to find a heart that you can feel

your guard comes down...slowly, you are exposed

your smile and a flash of ivory skin disarms me

I realize I am in the presence of brilliance

loud, full of color, lit from the inside, beautiful genius

your hand brushes mine...you touch me

I'm scared, not sure of myself or my place

I can't pull away, feeling the draw of your moonlit face

I feel the betrayal of my heart (God Damn it!)

wonderful madness takes me