Wednesday, September 28, 2011

dreaming (finally)

don't fade
stay in here with me
I need to know that someone still believes

...if I let my heart pour out, the dam would break. My words fall short of my thoughts. It seems no one wants what I most want to give heart, my mind, my love...I want to feel, I want to touch...I need to stop wanting it so much. But I can't, I won't. This is too important. Love is my essence. I need to give it as surely as I need to exhale...and I've not breathed out in such a long time.

Why do I cry as I write these words? Am I so weak as to think I'm not lovable? What makes my heart so unappealing? Is it somehow diseased? Doesn't my desire justify anything? It's like I'm in a crowded room screaming at the top of my lungs and no one hears me. Why won't someone listen? I see the look in your hear me, God damn it, I know you hear me!
Are my dreams impossible to realize? Is it not feasible to love someone completely, without measure, without limit or condition? Can I not feel the love of another? Maybe that's it, maybe I'm broken, unable to feel, numbed by the years of apathetic existence. Will no one ever look at me with the eyes of love? That gaze that says I know who you're the one, and I've been searching for you for so long...

...I want to be remembered for what I gave away, what I shared, not what I took. Every night I close my eyes and think that tomorrow is another chance. I say it all the time, every day offers us the hope of our hearts, the ability to turn our dreams into our reality. I refuse to live in fear of never finding the heart that knows mine. I know it's out there and tomorrow may be the day it finds me. Life is so short and you have to sleep to dream...

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

12 hours later...

Life turns on (you) a dime, be ready for it...
Why are you all so afraid? Life isn't that hard.
It's It's beautiful and I refuse to be scared.

beautiful day

I woke this morning full of hope, full of love and knowing
the future holds all I can imagine and more.

Monday, September 26, 2011

special K

life never stops
hard and fast,
no quarter given, ever
unbearable pain
on and on and on

I see you, standing strong
back stiff, leaning into the wind
raging against the maelstrom
lightning flashing, rain pounding
you...shaking your fist, screaming
no time for fear, no appetite for compromise
not to be defeated, never to be conquered

possibilities exist that you create
your strength, beauty set in stone
the universe bends to your will
enthralled by your quiet power
amazed by your soft presence
please take me along for the ride
grant us your love, I beg

Saturday, September 24, 2011

the waiting

I woke this morning
and you were there
not in a corporeal sense
but in every other way

I haven't seen you
but I know you
we haven't touched
but I feel you

life has become surreal
ghostly images of you
float through my dreams
my consciousness raised

I haven't held you
but I've felt your love
we haven't kissed
but when we do...

(oh my God, when we do...)

the clocks will stop for us
when we touch, we will become one
once I've held you, nothing else will matter
once we've kissed, our lives will be changed

for now
I must abide
anticipation building
my head knows the value of patience
my heart understands the reward of release

Friday, September 23, 2011

An Honor...

I want to give a big shout out and many thanks to Noelle from for the huge honor
of featuring me as her "Poet of the Week"! Please take
a moment and check out her awesome blog!

Thanks for your support, Noelle!


Thursday, September 22, 2011

when we meet

don't I know you?
if not in this life, in another

I see you in the distance
you turn and meet my gaze
dumbstruck by your beauty
my feet feel locked in place
the world is spinning out of control

this is where fantasy and reality begin to meld
we move closer, floating in time and space
I feel the electricity build as we are drawn together
to not allow this union would be to deny our very nature
as we close the distance our worlds begin to dissolve

now at arms length, hands reaching out urgently
just as we are about to touch, silent and driven...a spark
no longer a figment of our imagination, seizing reality
our fingers lock in an unbreakable grip (don't let go)
all the worries of our hearts released, we know

what will happen when we kiss?
when we are locked in a lovers embrace
feelings we dared not dream of, rising
defeating our fears, comforting our souls
and we will storm the gates of heaven...together

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

rocked (fear denied)

mind reeling
pulse racing
blood pumping
left speechless by our beauty

to feel your caress
soft, sensual and maddening
to hear your whisper
close, quiet and breathless
our lips touch, tongues dancing
velvety, wet, wanting

my hand in the small of your back
pulling you into my warm embrace
you push against me, skin on skin
overcome by primal need, pure passion
desire so intense it threatens to consume us
so cleanly, so gently, my life slips slowly into yours

Sunday, September 18, 2011

tough time

my mind is so full today...I have overwhelmed myself...I'll get back to you

Tuesday, September 13, 2011


brave...and crazy
and I came to play
so worn out from the status quo
out for ourselves, never mind the cost
but what we protect is what we lose in the end

(I need to be honest at this point. I have no clue what I'm looking for.
Sometimes it seems almost indefinable, a complete mystery to me.
Have you ever stood so close to something you can't see it? That's what this feels like.
It has no form, no physical shape, no identifying characteristics, it's simply an idea...)

why can't we have it all? I don't understand
I want it all and I will do almost anything to get it
there are pieces of me scattered throughout so many lives
fragments of my heart, scraps of my soul, the tattered remains of a once vibrant love

come with me, lead or follow, walk or run, just don't stop moving
my legs are weary from carrying the weight of so much collateral damage
never meant to do harm, my heart once soft, now made of stone, untenable
help me put it back together, help me heal, help pick up the pieces of me

Monday, September 12, 2011

come undone (bondage)

awake and alone...again
moonlight casting a vague shadow
life seems thin in the flat grey glow
my heart slows, wants to stop
I pray that this isn't real

sheets wrapped around my waist
my mind twisted from neglect
face in the pillow, screaming out
breath becomes a shallow panting
feeling as though I've come undone

this part isn't head can't keep up with my heart
(why is the writing on the wall always in a language I can't read?)

I used to think I mattered
but what I think and feel
what I know, all I can imagine
is so far removed from reality
it feels as though I'm self-destructing
moving too fast through a world that doesn't know
I attention! look at me!...please
there can be so much hatred in honesty
so much fear in knowing who you are

God, this is hard

tread lightly

sometimes you have to own your words...

Saturday, September 3, 2011


here in the dark
lying next to you
our bodies so close
your presence overwhelms

searching the darkness
seeking a safe harbor
you see me as I am
frightened and strong at once

here in the dark
trust is difficult to find, harder to give
lay your head on my chest
feel my beating heart

I used to fear the dark
full of all that would do us harm
scared of what I could not see
now I embrace the mystery

we whisper in the dark
in this place so full of secret pain
ancient demons that roam our minds
searching for the cracks in our faith

help me hold the darkness at bay
let's escape into the moonwashed night
holding each other in a dreamy embrace
here in the dark we are sacred

Thursday, September 1, 2011


lost in/to you
exposed by my heart
weaker than I should be
too vulnerable to survive?

my openness used against me
my ability to love suffers
must bad always follow good?
pain always follow pleasure?

why is it so hard to grasp
we are so damn close
it should be peaceful, easy
uncomplicated and passionate

(can you feel it?)

it starts with such promise
ends in such sorrow
love shouldn't tear us apart
the self fulfilling prophecy

let's lift each other up
my soul could use the joy
take my hand and walk with me
feel my heart and love with me