Sunday, August 21, 2011

Friday, August 19, 2011

misunderstood



my words taken to heart
all I ever wanted was hope
never intending to frighten you
feeling you close was so wonderful

message taken out of context
trying so hard to not be the fool
seeming to fail at every turn
why can't I ever win?

having touched/been touched by beauty
so hard to give it up without a fight
all I ever wanted was the possibility
too much to ask so soon, I know

my intentions were so much lighter
overwhelmed by my actions
all the pressure so unintentional
don't stay gone forever...

why am I so misunderstood?


Wednesday, August 17, 2011

haunted



in my dream you are hovering over me...

our faces so painfully close
I can taste your ruby redness
lips so soft the angels cry
ethereal in form, real in thought
so close to beauty's potential

in my weakened state
my cloudy lucidity
advantage is yours
you give what you take
in a symbiotic waltz

as you pull away...slowly
your face begins to fade
faint and almost forgotten
I wake and think of your ghost
and I smile




Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Monday, August 15, 2011

speechless



are you one of them? (I don't think so)
creating your pain, refusing aid
hiding behind the past, denying the future

the shadow following you trips you up
chained to you like bad memories
buried deep inside, down in the dark

I feel your pain, you aren't alone
I know the weight of your burden
don't let it take your life

I wish I knew what to say
what to do to keep you from giving up
there's so much good (love) right in front of you

don't let it eat us alive
it has only the power you give it
you know you want this...be brave

life is tough and no one gets a pass

Sunday, August 14, 2011

with (out)



I try really hard. I don't mail it in or do anything half ass. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. Come strong or go home.

Something beautiful and rare falls from heaven, drops right in my fucking lap while I was looking the other way. But it hits and rolls...what do you do? You get up off your ass and you give chase man! It zigs, you zig. It zags...you get the picture. Don't let it out of your sight. The run may kill you, but nothing else matters, does it?

I'm learning that you can't change a thing through will alone. It doesn't matter how badly I want it. What seems to matter is what you're willing to sacrifice for what you want...will it be your pride? What about your self-esteem? What about the fact that you try so hard and never seem to get the brass ring. What about that? You give yourself, you give of yourself, you sweat the details...nothing.

I will never give up, never retreat. I believe too strongly that love is the answer. There is nothing else worth living or dying for. I would step in front of a bullet for family and friends, and I would give it all for love. You may think that's out of balance but it works for me. What else holds you in such gentle arms? What else can touch you so deeply? Why else do we die a little every day?


so much to say...





















sometimes you have so much to say and the words won't come...

Saturday, August 13, 2011

a thought

...people will tell you that what they most want from a relationship is a partner that is open, honest, present and loving...not true. what people want is a partner that is as open, honest, present and loving as they can handle...no more...

Thursday, August 11, 2011

got this




top down
sun shining
on our way
could it get any better than this?

This could be the beginning of something amazing. If it is, I'm going in with my eyes and heart wide open. You feel me? At times my head spins so fast it makes me dizzy. A wonderful feeling, like when you were young and you got a big kid to spin you around real fast on the merry-go-round. I've come to realize how rare and beautiful this is. I will let this happen. I will help this happen. My hands touching something so awe inspiring swells my heart. Why deny it? My skin tingles at the thought of the slightest touch of your hand. My mind wanders all day, conspiring in the most splendid of daydreams...

top down
sun shining
on our way
it doesn't get any better than this...

I got this. Yeah, I got this...


Sunday, August 7, 2011

nature



pressurized, carbonated
filled to the brim
needing to overflow
ready to explode

got this crazy idea
that this can be easy
completely effortless
essence of my life

seeing (myself) for the first time
welcoming and beautiful
accepting of who/what I am
embracing my nature


Saturday, August 6, 2011

skeletons



what happened to us?
at what point did we become so jaded?
I crave the physicality of now
be it pleasure or pain
at least it's real

keeping each other at arms length
the tension palpable, pushing us apart
why must we be so frightened? of what?
we want what we fear
craving the craziness

have we become shell shocked?
afraid to feel, betrayed by betrayal
the spirit of the pain haunting us
unable to see the love everywhere
blinded by the madness






Thursday, August 4, 2011

cardio



pizza from a paper plate
wine from a plastic cup
life lived
simply

the touch of sweaty skin
a kiss from smiling lips
life lived
beautifully

neck caressed by hot breath
the beat of two racing hearts
life lived
passionately

Monday, August 1, 2011

demolition



start with plain old earth, dirt
composed of the decomposing
add to it, in no particular order or proportion
blood
sweat
tears
the glue that holds it all together
now, mix it thoroughly
pack it tightly into the closed off form that has become your heart
you now have the first of many bricks with which to build your personal fortress

these bricks hold value, they don't come cheap, you earn them
stack them carefully, this bunker must be impenetrable
it needn't be large, you're all alone, you always will be
simply decorated with your most personal furnishings
time to settle in for a lengthy stay, there is no door...

as these walls go up, however slowly or quickly
no thought is given to windows or doors...or escape
hope you like it in there, are you comfy?
you don't get visitors, none are allowed
welcome to no mans land
you created it, enjoy

personally, I'm tired off my self-imposed exile
I want to see the sun, feel it's warmth
I've become so pale and fragile behind these walls
I need to move, to stretch these atrophied tendons, test their strength
I want to be touched again, hand to hand, heart to heart

won't you help me take down the barbed wire?
if I start on the inside and you start on the outside, it'll work
chiseling away at my lifes work, deconstructing the fortress,I'm so tired
I will need you to help me stand, feels like I haven't in so long
help me to see, I will be squinting against the light so bright
help me to feel, my hands are so calloused from my labor of fear...

my biggest fear is that these walls are reinforced...
better bring a jack hammer