remain in light

we wake
the world laid out before us
the sun shines gratis
the day is our oyster
ours for the taking
you don't even have to ask
the decision should be easy
only two, count 'em, two

choices (so easy, damn it)

as a famous bard once said
"therein lies the rub"
why do we choose to destroy
instead of build
we opt to find fault in the blameless
rather than love
we alternate between two worlds
the real one and the one
we live in (or die in)
we would tear flesh from bone
rather than expose ourselves
the world is full of beauty we ignore
we instead choose to suffer in self inflicted pain

needlessly

the sun shines for free
and we live in the dark
today
I will, for once
remain in light

won't you join me?

walls

I never knew I was alone
in a house full of people
I was alone
the facade hides your face
but not your heart
just as the facade of a house
hides the rot beneath it
the house we shared
was full of everything
that didn't matter
it was sorely lacking
the furnishings we needed
faith...trust...unconditional love
like the good china
brought out only for guests
so was your love
placed high
out of reach
neglected
forgotten for lack of use
I need a home with no walls
no walls to hide behind
no walls to block our vision
no carpet under which to sweep
your lies and misdeeds
this place has taken on the odor
of mistrust and jealousy
hatred and disgust
I can't live here anymore
looks like its time for me to move
on

reasons

never.
that's what you said
when?
was the question

all the reasons in your head
now out in the open, spread
now the whole world glares
all your secrets laid bare
no shame in your game, not a care

you held your ground, like a rock you stood
you sold us all on a liars bill of goods
the world isn't perfect
it's beauty lies in it's imperfections
your beauty lies in your deceptions

My eyes have been opened, my soul healing
my heart has let go, my pain is receding
you'll never know what you lost,
and in your mind, damn the cost
you live in your fear, no empathy my dear

as you slipped away to someone new
you know you lied to justify
to pretend you had good reason
we both know the shame in you
and the bullshit in your treason

I will always mean it...

dead dog

it's 3 am in a lonely dark room
the blinds shut tight,
an absence of light
if I had my way,
I wouldn't lie here alone
there would be love
in abundance
trying desperately to
get under my skin
making my heart race
and my head swim
twisting and squirming,
afraid of this feeling
always starts sublimely,
easing into my psyche
it builds so quickly
swept into it's swirling confusion
it dies in a rush,
no good reason given,
a forgotten favorite pet,
dead on the road
we go from beauty
to desperation
to roadkill...
willingly
wildly
repeatedly
the whole while
always alone, always alone
always wondering, never knowing
when it will return
god I miss fido
I wonder if the sun will come up today?

illuminate (me)

I read the words you wrote
they touched me
I haven't felt anything
in so long
I was unsure of me
it was a warm bath
the pain, the unworthiness
washed from my soul,
I was made whole...
again
I wish I had your power
(don't deny it, I felt it)
I wish I had your strength
(lift me up)
I wish I had your ability
(evacuate, elevate)
my pain, my soul
was made to feel you
it felt so good, so right
(so light)
in touch with your feelings
shedding some light
take me from this killing floor
(trust my soul)
I come unarmed and
mean you no harm
no break in the clouds
the rays would blind me
(let me see, I beg)
do me this one small favor
show me your power, strength, light
illuminate me
please

broken

as the shadow of our love grows long
the tune dies slowly at the end of our song
legs become weak as I walk toward the ledge
heart grows cold as ice forms 'round the edge
hope melts away like a late april snow
leaves turn brown as a winter wind blows
pain that I feel like my heart in a vice
my soul shivers as though locked in ice
legs kicking wildly at the end of my rope
sorrow I feel steals the last of my hope
days of my love have brought such sorrow and pain
I'm cold and I'm damp in your wind driven rain
in the window is a candle that burns for my love
in my heart there's an ember that's lit from above
please hear my plea as I lie here and die
let this be forever, one last goodbye

you know what

you were wrong
there, I said it
you
were
wrong
the things you said
the treason you committed
the faultless, blameless life you lead
the stingy, conditional love you gave
you live in a vacuum, and it sucked me in
you languish in a self imposed tragedy
without it, you feel nothing
there's a void in your soul
a black hole in your heart
an emptiness beyond compare
I will probably always love you
but you know what?
you can learn to love anything, even pain
I'm not suitable for life in a vacuum
I need love, life, to feel the human condition
but most of all,
I need to breathe again

when we were kids

I remember the day we met
late august it was
first day of the new school year
I was painfully unaware
you were painfully beautiful
I recall the night we met again
(thirty years later)
early february it was
first day of our new life
I was painfully unaware
you were painfully beautiful

it's funny how some things never change

bitter taste

you asked me once,
is there anything sweeter than sugar?
sure, I said, you
you taste of honey from the hive,
sweet like sugar from a gods cane field.
the love I gave was yours to take
your bully pulpit and your fucking pride
tainted our syrupy love affair.
did you know that vinegar is the third incarnation
of a sugar molecule?
one lump or two?
black for me, thanks

what keeps you warm at night?

I stand wrongly accused.
tried, convicted, and sentenced to live,
by the most kangaroo of courts.
yours.
your minions abide in you.
they abide because they know no other.
no other way, no other story, no other truth but
yours.
you place the blame.
no fault lies at your feet, never did.
I tried, I cried. you lied, you denied.
this is your truth.

so cold, so very cold next to you. I never understood...I do now.
no heat radiates from your heart, no warmth from your soul
it's the misplaced hatred and anger and not much else
that keeps you warm at night

the bridge in the darkness

I lie here staring in the dark
at what, I'm not sure
it looks like your pretty face
sometimes it feels as though the dark dares me
it dares me to feel, to think, to remember
to feel alive, or dead, just feel
you can't feel me...or see me
I know this because no matter how hard I tried or what I did,
you kept fucking telling me that you couldn't feel me,
you pretend, after all, I'm just a means to an end
I know that it's just a dare and would I jump off a
bridge on a dare?
...maybe, do you want me to?
'cause you know I will, whatever you need
here in the dark

love blooms infernal...

love burning, all consuming

give all you can to fuel the flames

takes all you have to fight the fire

because when love catches

it blooms infernal

burn baby burn














Spark_by_josh_caspian_N / deviantart.com