between us

darkness
I feel
pressure
building
long time coming

downward
spiral
sinking
praying
for so long

save tonight
drink me in
by candlelight
we touch
lost in the here and now

sipping
wine
tasting...you
finding us
lost and found (finally)

catalyst (we are)

chemical
reaction
ingredients unknown
randomly measured
sublime
mixture

breathe
feel the connection
sin and acceptance
a wonderful concoction
osmotic
blameless

formula
deviation
elements combined
generation of heat
perfect
chemistry

memory

gasping
as my hand
brushes against you
tracing a meandering line

quivering
as my lips
softly touch yours
tasting your hot breath

feeling
my body on yours
overwhelming our senses
pounding out a primal rhythm

screaming
a feverish pitch
crashing and burning
in a perfect blend of lust and madness

mask

something in the way
love strips away our masks
the space between filled with desire

I keep watching you
dreaming of touching your lips
imagining words that soothe my soul

all I want is to feel
weight lifted as we rise above
gravity pulling us closer and closer

I love the way
chemicals between us dance
reflected in the pool of our moonlight

barefoot and running
forgetting what's in pursuit
outrunning all our fears (safe from harm)

this house is on fire
shackled and chained to you
let's take this life as it comes...together

voices

voices
in my head
silently
screaming
every word
breaking my heart

ghostly
heavy thoughts float
weightless
knowing
forever there
crossing my mind

memories
an angel's wings
ethereal
immaculate
always present
guarding my soul

(un)blinded

I need to get inside
so hard to do
seemingly powerless
blocked by entities I can't see
vision is only given
to those with eyes shut tight

passing through my darkness
I see sporadic movement
in the corner of my eye
laughing ghosts of pain
flying through my open door
into the waiting night

picking at the wounds
to heal would leave a scar
torn apart and put together
you are the bandage
my heart has longed for
falling into your arms

mission statement (love)

I have given and I have taken, been both good and bad, but I've always tried to be present. All I've ever asked is the same in return. Relationship is about the one-on-one, not building a collection of people that will somehow validate me. Not that we all can't use some validation from time to time, I just believe validation comes from within. I believe in love, I believe that another person can help fill the void in our lives and in our souls.

To sanctify another and be held in the same esteem is a life-affirming act. Different people have different belief systems. Some, like me, love love...that doesn't, on it's face, make the feeling any less genuine, so long as you are willing to take emotional responsibility for your love. Some people only feel love when they have the adoration and validation of many. I want the undying, uncompromising, unconditional love of the one. I'm certainly not walking through this life faultless or blameless, I am not and never will be perfect, but I know me and I know what I want and what I have to offer.

Love is not a bargaining chip...love is a privilege, earned by giving first...held by giving constantly and unconditionally. It is only a win-win or a lose-lose proposition...the upper hand is always an empty hand.

Just sayin'...

gypsy soul

dreaming of the touch
shivering and afraid
darkness so familiar
searching for home

your lullaby unrehearsed
a sublime siren song
gates of heaven open
the longest night ends

you saved my gypsy soul
stole it without a fight
take me, love me, hold me
keep me from the pouring rain

...and nothing shall come between us

morning rapture

hands gliding over
sleepy, warm flesh
turning away to push
the ever-present desire
deeper and deeper into...

eyes unfocused
delicious dew forms
breath coming faster
as kisses whisper softly
over neck and shoulders

hips rising urgently
quivering uncontrollably
begging to be taken
wrapped in strong arms
slick with want and need

hyper-sensitive
seduction complete
incapable of thought
reason lost to hunger
touch becomes euphoric

force of nature
as bodies collide
irresistible gravity
wonderfully overwhelmed
consumed...rocked...perfect rapture

knowing

it feels as though
a hundred lives
have passed me by
a cold, hard lesson...
often, what you fear
is what you find

survival often means sacrifice...

falling (torn) apart
living on the crumbs
face hidden behind
a jade(d) mask of hope
faith that died...slowly
brought here to burn

but I want to sleep inside you...

lips touching yours
skin hot to the touch
hips grinding madly
our bodies entwined
tied in a forever knot
wanting only to explode

this dream of life and death
fading...as two become one

passion found (a rant)

I have wanted (waited)
for far too long
I have had to plead
for far too much
what I would give
won't be marginalized
as imperfect or ineffectual
the love I have offered
is neither tainted nor damaged
no...what's broken in me
if you can call it "broken"
is my pain threshold (it doesn't exist)
common sense says "stay down"
but I will stand up every time
I will fly in the face of a reality
that would see me alone...
I've made mistakes, to be sure
and I've lived a life of atonement...
so stand in judgment...you win (lose)
it's not a battle I choose to fight
what you seem to know of me
is limited to what you choose to see
I am not bent or broken
I am me...an unknown quantity
a body of love, need, and passion
held together by dreams and hope
so tired of being told that simply...isn't...enough

skin and bones

I am a man
broken but healing
fashioned after
fault, pain, and beauty

eyes that see
mind that sees more
fingers that feel
heart that feels deeper

exposed and unafraid
barren yet always growing
I walk to the splintered edge
leaping to certain life

I am but a man
skin and bones (and wonder)
lost and forever searching
fragile, yet unbreakable

I am but a man...

(not) unworthy

wrapped
in each other's arms
smothered
in each other's doubt
we are imperfect

lost
in each other's eyes
wondering
what the other is thinking
we are in pain

struggling
in each other's hearts
frightened
by who we are
we are alone

the fear of exposing ourselves
steals the joy of what may be
the denial of emotional responsibility
slowly destroys all we desire
it's a lesson we never learn

there you are

good
enough...
isn't

perfection
takes many forms
wishing
endlessly
to feel the touch
to taste the lips
to know the happy ending

hands tied tight
heart on my sleeve
like a man in a box
isolated by self-doubt
my curse and creation
searching for redemption
in your heart

I move...
my body and mind
trying desperately to outrun
this cloud of damnation I've created

I need you to be...
my hope, dreams, light and love
to feel me is to risk it all
take me to the brink
feel me pull away in fear
a self-fulfilling prophecy
doomed from the start

this needs to stop

take me, hold me
never let me up
when I scream
I've had enough
hold me down
love me madly
make (this) life end

help me feel again

breathless

simple
profound
unknown
a slow burn
hot to the touch

alive
awake
no pain(ful)
wanting...
to be captured
taken by a lover
not a mirror...but a reflection


to feel the agony of perfection
knowing this love must exist
you know...the one they write about
it's what keeps me awake at night...

wanted inside and out
with no limit accepted
taken beyond the brink
I was born to break this
these words escape me
bleed out of this broken man
if I had my way I wouldn't be...

bleeding, breathless and dreaming