An Honor...

I want to give a big shout out and many thanks to Noelle from http://collectionofpoetry.blogspot.com/ for the huge honor

of featuring me as her "Poet of the Week"! Please take

a moment and check out her awesome blog!

Thanks for your support, Noelle!

Paul

when we meet

don't I know you?

if not in this life, in another

I see you in the distance

you turn and meet my gaze

dumbstruck by your beauty

my feet feel locked in place

the world is spinning out of control

this is where fantasy and reality begin to meld

we move closer, floating in time and space

I feel the electricity build as we are drawn together

to not allow this union would be to deny our very nature

as we close the distance our worlds begin to dissolve

now at arms length, hands reaching out urgently

just as we are about to touch, silent and driven...a spark

no longer a figment of our imagination, seizing reality

our fingers lock in an unbreakable grip (don't let go)

all the worries of our hearts released, we know

what will happen when we kiss?

when we are locked in a lovers embrace

feelings we dared not dream of, rising

defeating our fears, comforting our souls

and we will storm the gates of heaven...together

rocked (fear denied)

mind reeling

pulse racing

blood pumping

left speechless by our beauty

to feel your caress

soft, sensual and maddening

to hear your whisper

close, quiet and breathless

our lips touch, tongues dancing

velvety, wet, wanting

my hand in the small of your back

pulling you into my warm embrace

you push against me, skin on skin

overcome by primal need, pure passion

desire so intense it threatens to consume us

so cleanly, so gently, my life slips slowly into yours

tough time

my mind is so full today...I have overwhelmed myself...I'll get back to you

pieces

brave...and crazy

and I came to play

so worn out from the status quo

out for ourselves, never mind the cost

but what we protect is what we lose in the end

(I need to be honest at this point. I have no clue what I'm looking for.

Sometimes it seems almost indefinable, a complete mystery to me.

Have you ever stood so close to something you can't see it? That's what this feels like.

It has no form, no physical shape, no identifying characteristics, it's simply an idea...)

why can't we have it all? I don't understand

I want it all and I will do almost anything to get it

there are pieces of me scattered throughout so many lives

fragments of my heart, scraps of my soul, the tattered remains of a once vibrant love

come with me, lead or follow, walk or run, just don't stop moving

my legs are weary from carrying the weight of so much collateral damage

never meant to do harm, my heart once soft, now made of stone, untenable

help me put it back together, help me heal, help pick up the pieces of me

come undone (bondage)

awake and alone...again

moonlight casting a vague shadow

life seems thin in the flat grey glow

my heart slows, wants to stop

I pray that this isn't real

sheets wrapped around my waist

my mind twisted from neglect

face in the pillow, screaming out

breath becomes a shallow panting

feeling as though I've come undone

this part isn't easy...my head can't keep up with my heart

(why is the writing on the wall always in a language I can't read?)

I used to think I mattered

but what I think and feel

what I know, all I can imagine

is so far removed from reality

it feels as though I'm self-destructing

moving too fast through a world that doesn't know

I exist...pay attention! look at me!...please

there can be so much hatred in honesty

so much fear in knowing who you are

God, this is hard

tread lightly

sometimes you have to own your words...

sacred

here in the dark

lying next to you

our bodies so close

your presence overwhelms

searching the darkness

seeking a safe harbor

you see me as I am

frightened and strong at once

here in the dark

trust is difficult to find, harder to give

lay your head on my chest

feel my beating heart

I used to fear the dark

full of all that would do us harm

scared of what I could not see

now I embrace the mystery

we whisper in the dark

in this place so full of secret pain

ancient demons that roam our minds

searching for the cracks in our faith

help me hold the darkness at bay

let's escape into the moonwashed night

holding each other in a dreamy embrace

here in the dark we are sacred

alone

lost in/to you

exposed by my heart

weaker than I should be

too vulnerable to survive?

my openness used against me

my ability to love suffers

must bad always follow good?

pain always follow pleasure?

why is it so hard to grasp

we are so close...so damn close

it should be peaceful, easy

uncomplicated and passionate

(can you feel it?)

it starts with such promise

ends in such sorrow

love shouldn't tear us apart

the self fulfilling prophecy

let's lift each other up

my soul could use the joy

take my hand and walk with me

feel my heart and love with me

realization

no hearts were harmed that didn't have it coming :)

misunderstood

my words taken to heart

all I ever wanted was hope

never intending to frighten you

feeling you close was so wonderful

message taken out of context

trying so hard to not be the fool

seeming to fail at every turn

why can't I ever win?

having touched/been touched by beauty

so hard to give it up without a fight

all I ever wanted was the possibility

too much to ask so soon, I know

my intentions were so much lighter

overwhelmed by my actions

all the pressure so unintentional

don't stay gone forever...

why am I so misunderstood?

haunted

in my dream you are hovering over me...

our faces so painfully close

I can taste your ruby redness

lips so soft the angels cry

ethereal in form, real in thought

so close to beauty's potential

in my weakened state

my cloudy lucidity

advantage is yours

you give what you take

in a symbiotic waltz

as you pull away...slowly

your face begins to fade

faint and almost forgotten

I wake and think of your ghost

and I smile

words

my words mean nothing. you aren't listening...

speechless

are you one of them? (I don't think so)

creating your pain, refusing aid

hiding behind the past, denying the future

the shadow following you trips you up

chained to you like bad memories

buried deep inside, down in the dark

I feel your pain, you aren't alone

I know the weight of your burden

don't let it take your life

I wish I knew what to say

what to do to keep you from giving up

there's so much good (love) right in front of you

don't let it eat us alive

it has only the power you give it

you know you want this...be brave

life is tough and no one gets a pass

with (out)

I try really hard. I don't mail it in or do anything half ass. If something is worth doing, it's worth doing right. Come strong or go home.

Something beautiful and rare falls from heaven, drops right in my fucking lap while I was looking the other way. But it hits and rolls...what do you do? You get up off your ass and you give chase man! It zigs, you zig. It zags...you get the picture. Don't let it out of your sight. The run may kill you, but nothing else matters, does it?

I'm learning that you can't change a thing through will alone. It doesn't matter how badly I want it. What seems to matter is what you're willing to sacrifice for what you want...will it be your pride? What about your self-esteem? What about the fact that you try so hard and never seem to get the brass ring. What about that? You give yourself, you give of yourself, you sweat the details...nothing.

I will never give up, never retreat. I believe too strongly that love is the answer. There is nothing else worth living or dying for. I would step in front of a bullet for family and friends, and I would give it all for love. You may think that's out of balance but it works for me. What else holds you in such gentle arms? What else can touch you so deeply? Why else do we die a little every day?